Last night I went to the June Transdoori and had one of those minor, odd experiences that you have when you're a very part-time tranny.
We're all sat down to eat, and cards went around the table. Not playing-cards - this was a curry night, not a bridge evening - but 'sign your name' type cards. One was a Thank You card for a lady who used to run a restaurant and had been particularly supportive to the local T-community, the other for someone who was in hospital for an op. You know the routine - sign your name - 'Best wishes from ...' - and pass it on.
Anyway when the first card got to me I went to sign my name and realised that, well, I'd never done it before. Oh yes, I've signed cards plenty of time - as a bloke. But this was the first time that I had signed my name as Rachel. You see, even when dressed I use my bloke credit card, and that not often. And, anyway, with chip and pin who signs their name for that any more? Sure I've filled my name out in the 'visitors' book at clubs, but even that's not the same*.
No, this was the first time that I could informally scribble 'Rachel' on something. And it was very odd. After nigh on 40 years writing my bloke name it's developed into an unreadable squiggle which, whilst distinctive, is barely recogniseable as a name. Last night I ended up printing 'Rachel' very neatly. Somehow it looked wrong, like it didn't seem to be a sentiment from me.
Perhaps in 40 years time Rachel will have her own signature as well ...
*Although I have appended my real surname to Rachel in at least one case, giving a bit of a lie to my 'just plain' soubriquet.
Friday, 20 June 2008
Wednesday, 21 May 2008
Book Meme
I got tagged by Pandora on this one:
The requirements are as follows:
1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Locate the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences on your blog and in so doing…
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.
I'll skip '5', as most of the people who are likely to want to do it have already done it. Indeed I've already done it, years ago, on my bloke blog. It was a different book, of course.
So, the nearest book is grabbed and we get:
"When the steam engines and oxen failed to do the job, another method was used, known as 'cabling'. The locomotive was uncoupled and driven several hundred yards up the slop into a specially dug pit. A hawser was then attached to a drum on the engine and Mimi and Toutou were drawn up."
From 'Mimi and Toutou Go Forth' by Giles Foden.
It sounds like a right sissy book really, but it's actually about the British expedition to seize Lake Tanganyika from the Germans during WWI; a small, bizarre but ultimately very successful campaign in all respects. However the officer in charge, Lt. Commander Spicer Simpson-Simpson did include, amongst his many eccentricities the wearing of a garment that was quite obviously a skirt. So there's a bit of a tranny connection there really.
Worth reading.
The requirements are as follows:
1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Locate the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences on your blog and in so doing…
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.
I'll skip '5', as most of the people who are likely to want to do it have already done it. Indeed I've already done it, years ago, on my bloke blog. It was a different book, of course.
So, the nearest book is grabbed and we get:
"When the steam engines and oxen failed to do the job, another method was used, known as 'cabling'. The locomotive was uncoupled and driven several hundred yards up the slop into a specially dug pit. A hawser was then attached to a drum on the engine and Mimi and Toutou were drawn up."
From 'Mimi and Toutou Go Forth' by Giles Foden.
It sounds like a right sissy book really, but it's actually about the British expedition to seize Lake Tanganyika from the Germans during WWI; a small, bizarre but ultimately very successful campaign in all respects. However the officer in charge, Lt. Commander Spicer Simpson-Simpson did include, amongst his many eccentricities the wearing of a garment that was quite obviously a skirt. So there's a bit of a tranny connection there really.
Worth reading.
Monday, 5 May 2008
Anniversary
Today is a special day of sorts.
It's a year ago today that I sat down with my wife and said those potentially fatal words:
"I have something to tell you ..."
At the time I was a thoroughly closeted tranny. I got to dress once, perhaps twice, a year if I was lucky, through dressing services. And to do that I had to resort to subterfuges to get the time away. Lies, basically.
Things had come to a head a couple of weeks before, when I made my first visit to 'Adam and Eve' in East London. This was the first time I had been to a dressing service where I had the chance to actually go out dressed, and I jumped at the chance. And why not? I looked and felt fantastic, and wanted the world to see me.
And it did. Just for twenty minutes or so, as I strolled up and down Brick Lane buzzing with happiness.
There was no going back. Rachel was truly alive, I knew that I wanted more of her, and that once a year wasn't going to satisfy it. But to do it more often than that would mean more lies and more deception. I couldn't do it. Which is why, a couple of weeks later, I sat down with my wife and had The Conversation.
The next few days were not fun. The day after was especially bleak as, to put it bluntly, our marriage teetered on the brink. But we got through it. We started talking. We arranged to have counselling. We worked hard to keep our relationship together. A few months later we went back to 'Adam and Eve' and my wife saw me as Rachel for the first time. We started telling people; family at first, then other friends. Other people knowing helped relieve the burden on us but also helped make it what it should be; a normal part of life.
And, a year on, we seem to be succeeding. Oh, there are tensions and worries, of course. But no more, perhaps, than in any other relationship. Coming out and being able to express myself as Rachel has made me happier, healthier and more confident than I have been in a long time, which has been of benefit to all of the family. Indeed it was obvious that the suppression of Rachel for such a long time had been subconsciously grinding me down and making me unhappy. Now my biggest worry is wardrobe space ...
I didn't ask to be a tranny. If someone could wave a magic wand and make it go away, that would make things so much easier (although I'd miss the social life). But the reality is that I'm stuck with it, so I make the most of it, in my own way, and get as much happiness and enjoyment out of it as I can. I'm lucky. I have a supportive family and, for now, I am content with who and what I am.
Various people have helped us in various ways over the last year. Indeed some of you will be reading this. To all of you I say thank you.
It's a year ago today that I sat down with my wife and said those potentially fatal words:
"I have something to tell you ..."
At the time I was a thoroughly closeted tranny. I got to dress once, perhaps twice, a year if I was lucky, through dressing services. And to do that I had to resort to subterfuges to get the time away. Lies, basically.
Things had come to a head a couple of weeks before, when I made my first visit to 'Adam and Eve' in East London. This was the first time I had been to a dressing service where I had the chance to actually go out dressed, and I jumped at the chance. And why not? I looked and felt fantastic, and wanted the world to see me.
And it did. Just for twenty minutes or so, as I strolled up and down Brick Lane buzzing with happiness.
There was no going back. Rachel was truly alive, I knew that I wanted more of her, and that once a year wasn't going to satisfy it. But to do it more often than that would mean more lies and more deception. I couldn't do it. Which is why, a couple of weeks later, I sat down with my wife and had The Conversation.
The next few days were not fun. The day after was especially bleak as, to put it bluntly, our marriage teetered on the brink. But we got through it. We started talking. We arranged to have counselling. We worked hard to keep our relationship together. A few months later we went back to 'Adam and Eve' and my wife saw me as Rachel for the first time. We started telling people; family at first, then other friends. Other people knowing helped relieve the burden on us but also helped make it what it should be; a normal part of life.
And, a year on, we seem to be succeeding. Oh, there are tensions and worries, of course. But no more, perhaps, than in any other relationship. Coming out and being able to express myself as Rachel has made me happier, healthier and more confident than I have been in a long time, which has been of benefit to all of the family. Indeed it was obvious that the suppression of Rachel for such a long time had been subconsciously grinding me down and making me unhappy. Now my biggest worry is wardrobe space ...
I didn't ask to be a tranny. If someone could wave a magic wand and make it go away, that would make things so much easier (although I'd miss the social life). But the reality is that I'm stuck with it, so I make the most of it, in my own way, and get as much happiness and enjoyment out of it as I can. I'm lucky. I have a supportive family and, for now, I am content with who and what I am.
Various people have helped us in various ways over the last year. Indeed some of you will be reading this. To all of you I say thank you.
Sunday, 20 April 2008
Tranny Cliche #6
Friday, 18 April 2008
Rachel In Trousers Shocker!
Exclusive! Blurry photographic evidence has been found which suggests that obscure Staines-based crossdresser Rachel (just plain Rachel) has been seen in public wearing ... Trousers!
Eyewitnesses in the Earl's Court area of London state that she was seen leaving an hotel in the area, in the company of a friend (a conventional crossdresser, in a skirt), and entering the Thai Princess restaurant where she consumed a rather tasty meal, including pudding.
Sources close to Rachel confirm that this case of trouser-wearing really did take place, and was brought on through a combination of her acquiring a couple of pairs 'the other day, from a friend at work', and the realisation that she still couldn't find a suitable skirt to go with the gorgeous green Chinese blouse she wanted to wear yesterday evening. They also confirm that the trousers made her 'bum look nice'*.
And unfortunate incident involving an electrical failure in the hotel and a need to catch what has been described as 'the last train home' meant that a post-meal photo-session to garner clearer pictures didn't take place as planned.
Further incidents of unrepentant trouser-wearing are expected in the future, and may be reported. Or not.
Some semblance of normality was maintained yesterday, however, when it was observed that a crossdresser matching Rachel's description was seen in the vicinity of the Victoria and Albert Museum - in a skirt.
Rumours abound concerning pictures of Rachel in and even more stereotypical crossdresser outfit, but these have not yet been released to the public. Further news on this as the pictures are tracked down and processed.
*Source: Mr X, whose opinion on these matters may be considered biased.
Eyewitnesses in the Earl's Court area of London state that she was seen leaving an hotel in the area, in the company of a friend (a conventional crossdresser, in a skirt), and entering the Thai Princess restaurant where she consumed a rather tasty meal, including pudding.
Sources close to Rachel confirm that this case of trouser-wearing really did take place, and was brought on through a combination of her acquiring a couple of pairs 'the other day, from a friend at work', and the realisation that she still couldn't find a suitable skirt to go with the gorgeous green Chinese blouse she wanted to wear yesterday evening. They also confirm that the trousers made her 'bum look nice'*.
And unfortunate incident involving an electrical failure in the hotel and a need to catch what has been described as 'the last train home' meant that a post-meal photo-session to garner clearer pictures didn't take place as planned.
Further incidents of unrepentant trouser-wearing are expected in the future, and may be reported. Or not.
Some semblance of normality was maintained yesterday, however, when it was observed that a crossdresser matching Rachel's description was seen in the vicinity of the Victoria and Albert Museum - in a skirt.
Rumours abound concerning pictures of Rachel in and even more stereotypical crossdresser outfit, but these have not yet been released to the public. Further news on this as the pictures are tracked down and processed.
*Source: Mr X, whose opinion on these matters may be considered biased.
Sunday, 6 April 2008
Rachel, Queen Of The Desert
Tonight I ticked another tranny box; I saw 'Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert' for the first time. Loved it!
It has a certain resonance for me, of course. As you may know (or may not - you will in a second), the Family Rachel are hoping to be leaving these shores and going to live Down Under. Indeed, had there not been some kind of appalling cock-up with parts of our visa application we hoped to already be there by now, but that's a whinge for elsewhere. So trannying in Australia is going to be a reality for me, I hope. Although I think I'll stop short at a thong-dress.
Now, whilst we will be aiming to live near Sydney, one of the things we hope to do when we get over there (When? If?) is to take a holiday and drive around the Northern Territories. Darwin to Alice Springs is our main plan. In a great big camper-van.
I have been forbidden - FORBIDDEN, I tell you - to ride on the roof of the van with a huge scarf trailing out behind me.
Pah!
It has a certain resonance for me, of course. As you may know (or may not - you will in a second), the Family Rachel are hoping to be leaving these shores and going to live Down Under. Indeed, had there not been some kind of appalling cock-up with parts of our visa application we hoped to already be there by now, but that's a whinge for elsewhere. So trannying in Australia is going to be a reality for me, I hope. Although I think I'll stop short at a thong-dress.
Now, whilst we will be aiming to live near Sydney, one of the things we hope to do when we get over there (When? If?) is to take a holiday and drive around the Northern Territories. Darwin to Alice Springs is our main plan. In a great big camper-van.
I have been forbidden - FORBIDDEN, I tell you - to ride on the roof of the van with a huge scarf trailing out behind me.
Pah!
Tuesday, 1 April 2008
Going For Bloke
In my last post (and elsewhere) I mentioned the possibility of going to a future Magic Theatre in bloke mode, and this seems to have provoked a little bit of interest. So let me explain.
Since I came out last year I have acquired much more of a social life than I had before. Indeed, I have pretty much acquired a social life where I didn't have one before. Since she likes to be involved, so has Mrs Rachel. However, as much as she enjoys the events we've been to, she has said that she's like to do some of these things without Rachel; she wants to do some of these things with the man she married, not the woman he likes to present as sometimes. Which is fair enough.
But, let's face it, a lot of outings are more fun as a girl. I don't know why, but they are. For example, as a bloke I get very self-conscious about dancing. As Rachel I love it. I'm odd that way.
How to compromise? Well, Magic Theatre offers that possibility. As I have said elsewhere it was the first event I've been to as Rachel where I spent as much time admiring the male costumes as I did those of the girls. There were some great efforts, and I looked at a few of them and thought 'I could carry that look off'. This wasn't an evening of gorgeous girls and boring blokes; this was bloke-wear you could get excited about. This was costume and, let's face it, as a 'Weekend Princess' that's what a lot of my trannying is about - my dressing is, in some ways, a costume that lets me become Rachel more easily.
So yes, with the right costume, one that made me feel 'dressed up', I could do an event like Magic Theatre in bloke mode.
And bits of Rachel would still be there. It's amazing what girl clothing you can slip into a male outfit if you try. Many years ago, when I was deeply buried at the back of the closet, I went on an extended trip where we spent the whole time in Victorian costume. Those with money had proper reproductions made (oh, some of the frocks were to die for ...); the rest of us improvised. Most of the clothing could be easily sourced from modern male equivalents. A few things (frock coats and the like) required a trip to Camden Market. But some accessories needed more imagination - the modern male equivalents just didn't look right - which I why I ended up with a hat and some gloves purchased from the ladies' section of our local departmenst store. Indeed I still have them, and have subsequently worn the gloves as Rachel.
I got married in a lady's waistcoat. The cut's the same as a bloke one; it's just which side it buttons that's different. And no-one notices that. Oh, and I borrowed a pair of socks from my sister as well. Long story. So in some respects I trannied when I got married. But I was still a bloke.
Suffice to say that even in bloke mode it's possible to tranny, if the costume allows for it. I already have an idea for a bloke costume suitabel for Magic Theatre, and can do most of it using elements of Rachel's wardrobe. So even if I lack the wig, makeup and boobs, I'd still be a transvestite. And since that's what I am, and am happy being, that's good enough for me.
Since I came out last year I have acquired much more of a social life than I had before. Indeed, I have pretty much acquired a social life where I didn't have one before. Since she likes to be involved, so has Mrs Rachel. However, as much as she enjoys the events we've been to, she has said that she's like to do some of these things without Rachel; she wants to do some of these things with the man she married, not the woman he likes to present as sometimes. Which is fair enough.
But, let's face it, a lot of outings are more fun as a girl. I don't know why, but they are. For example, as a bloke I get very self-conscious about dancing. As Rachel I love it. I'm odd that way.
How to compromise? Well, Magic Theatre offers that possibility. As I have said elsewhere it was the first event I've been to as Rachel where I spent as much time admiring the male costumes as I did those of the girls. There were some great efforts, and I looked at a few of them and thought 'I could carry that look off'. This wasn't an evening of gorgeous girls and boring blokes; this was bloke-wear you could get excited about. This was costume and, let's face it, as a 'Weekend Princess' that's what a lot of my trannying is about - my dressing is, in some ways, a costume that lets me become Rachel more easily.
So yes, with the right costume, one that made me feel 'dressed up', I could do an event like Magic Theatre in bloke mode.
And bits of Rachel would still be there. It's amazing what girl clothing you can slip into a male outfit if you try. Many years ago, when I was deeply buried at the back of the closet, I went on an extended trip where we spent the whole time in Victorian costume. Those with money had proper reproductions made (oh, some of the frocks were to die for ...); the rest of us improvised. Most of the clothing could be easily sourced from modern male equivalents. A few things (frock coats and the like) required a trip to Camden Market. But some accessories needed more imagination - the modern male equivalents just didn't look right - which I why I ended up with a hat and some gloves purchased from the ladies' section of our local departmenst store. Indeed I still have them, and have subsequently worn the gloves as Rachel.
I got married in a lady's waistcoat. The cut's the same as a bloke one; it's just which side it buttons that's different. And no-one notices that. Oh, and I borrowed a pair of socks from my sister as well. Long story. So in some respects I trannied when I got married. But I was still a bloke.
Suffice to say that even in bloke mode it's possible to tranny, if the costume allows for it. I already have an idea for a bloke costume suitabel for Magic Theatre, and can do most of it using elements of Rachel's wardrobe. So even if I lack the wig, makeup and boobs, I'd still be a transvestite. And since that's what I am, and am happy being, that's good enough for me.
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